Dr. Crazypants, or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Embrace the Mitt

[authors note: the titular reference is in no way a…well, reference to the plot or politics of the movie said reference is…well, referencing. This title just struck me as fun and since I am the writer of this post, and…well, this entire Blog, it falls to me to choose the titles. And since this one makes me softly chuckle like a doofus every time I say it, this is the title this post is stuck with.]

It boggles my (second-rate) mind how sore hands must be from being wrung among Conservatives. What tragedy has wrought such a worrisome cloud to descend upon the Right-minded masses? Is Obama still trampling the Constitution? Well, of course, but that’s not why the silent majority can’t sleep at night. Has society not only abandoned but viciously mocked traditional morality at every turn? Why, yes. But it’s been doing that since at least the ’60s.

No, the terrifying possibility that Krueger’s the nightmares of Conservatives is…

Presidential Hopeful Likely GOP Nominee: Mitt Romney.

Truth be told, I don’t understand all the mitt-riol being flung at Governor Romney. Somehow, in a scant four years, Romney went from being the last great “Not McCain”… our final hope to defeat the Establishment… to actually being the evil, elitist, Establishment choice who must be stopped at all costs.

I have to wonder who is more fickle, the candidates…or us.

Evangelical ‘leaders’ are gathering in Texas to decide on which candidate will be the Not Romney all the faithful should rally behind. We are daily told that Conservatives could never support a Candidate Romney. “If only there had been someone strong enough to stop Monster Mitt. Why, oh why did we have such a weak field???” [cue the weeping and gnashing of teeth]

The first thing that gets my goat is the “weak field fallacy”. Anyone who says the 2012 GOP Candidate field was/is weak is either:

A) A Democrat spewing forth this tired Talking Point which they were spoon-fed by the DNC or

B) A well meaning non-Democrat who has been brainwashed

Make no mistake, we have a strong field. No candidate is perfect because no human is perfect. No candidate is Reagan’s heir apperent because Reagan was one of a kind. But while they all have flaws, each of them has a lot to bring to the table. Only one can be our candidate however, and below I will attempt to explain the reasoning behind throwing my support behind Mitt Romney.

Currently our field of viable candidates consists of:

Mitt Romney

Rick Santorum

Newt Gingrich

Rick Perry

Jon Huntsman

Oh… and then there is Ron Paul, or as I like to affectionately call him: Dr. Crazypants

Dr. Paul –

He’s a good guy, but when Principles become obstinancy, you can’t be a leader. There is also the Bircher-like conspiracy crank lurking just beneath his lovable, grumpy old coot exterior. His apathy towards the potential of a nuclear-weaponed Iran disqualifies him from being Commander-in-Chief. He had a surprisingly good showing in Iowa… but that’s as far as he will get. In Primary states where people actually vote for candidates, he doesn’t stand a chance. Best Fit: Secretary of Treasury? That would be fun.

Jon Huntsman –

Policy wise (with the exception of a stubborn belief in the all but disproven notion of Human-caused Global Warming) Huntsman seems to be pretty well on target. Early on he picked some unnecessary fights with religious conservatives, which hurt him in the long run. He simply doesn’t have the national stature needed to run for the presidency. Best Fit: Secretary of State? My first choice would be John Bolton, but Huntsman has experience and knowledge with China and that will be invaluable in years to come.

Rick Santorum –

Latest of the Not Romney’s to catch fire. He comes from the George W. Bush-style “Compassionate Conservative” camp. Which basically means he is socially conservative but has no problem with Big Government, so long as it is supporting his beliefs. That played well in the late-90’s and early 2000’s, but America is clamoring for a limited government, fiscal conservative type of candidate. Senator Santorum is anything but. Best Fit: VP would be interesting, but perhaps not ultimately helpful. I think his best bet is to get into state politics and work towards running for Governor of Pennsylvania some day.

Newt Gingrich –

A man of jarring juxtapositions: Contract With America and leading Republicans to retake Congress after 40 years in the wilderness contrasted with inexcusable affairs and three marriages. A stong debater making arguments with intelligence and finesse contrasted with him sharing a couch with Nancy Pelosi and telling us that Global Warming is real and all our fault. The list could go on. It’s become cliche, but yes, Gingrich has baggage. You can’t deny that. He had potential in the late 90’s but blew it pretty badly. Don’t expect a Nixonian-style political comeback for Newt. Best Fit: He should remain content as an author and move into the full-time Think Tank business (and never run for office again).

Rick Perry –

Successful Governor of a large state and arguably solidly Conservative. Had there been no Bush 43, Perry may have had more success in this run. As it is, he hasn’t been able to shake the image of being W-Lite. Surprisingly (to me, anyway) I am actually going to go back to my prediction from August 25th, 2011. The GOP nominee will be either Romney or Perry. After a disgustingly poor result in Iowa, Perry’s campaign was all but written off. I certainly had thrown in the towel for him. But he suddenly has decided to stay in the race and something in my gut says he is not finished. In the long run, I don’t think he will defeat Romney (and he might not even have beaten President Obama were he made the nominee), but he’ll be sticking around the primaries longer most expected after the January 3rd results. Best Fit: I’m going to go out on a limb and actually suggest Perry for VP.

Mitt Romney –

Cool, Clear, and Presidential. He certainly has a managerial aspect to his personality, but he is not interested in expanding the power of the Federal Government. I think he would be a consensus builder. As Governor of the Bluest of Blue states, he gave the people there what they wanted. Since this is a Center-Right country, he will give us what we want – a scaled back Federal Government that puts Fiscal Responsibility above political pandering. It’s difficult to pin down his core convictions, but Romney is not a mere Clinton-esque “finger-in-the-wind” politician. First and foremost, he is a Fixer. That seems to be his passion. As President, he would go to Washington with the drive to Fix the Federal Government.

In conclusion, I say, let the Primaries play out. Romney is not the nominee yet. Vote and voice your opinions throughout the process. But, if Romney is the nominee, I will personally slap any so-called Conservative who refuses to vote for him. That is all.

2 thoughts on “Dr. Crazypants, or: How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Embrace the Mitt

  1. I respect your opinion, though I fundamentally disagree with your characterization of Mitt.

    My problem is that, in his heart, Mitt is a big-government guy. In the past, he’s seen “problems” and responded by advocating government-run programs as the “solutions”. RomneyCare, TARP, prog-gun control, you name it, he’s on the side of bigger government. He’s proposed new spending if he wins the Presidency, along with tax cuts and (unspecified) spending cuts. He’d make our deficit problem worse, not better.

    As to Iran, there is simply no report showing them “on the verge” of developing a nuclear weapon. The latest says that what nuclear fuel they CAN produce has absolutely no direct use in nuclear weapons, nor does it help them develop a nuclear weapons program in any way. The politicians are blowing things out of proportion (again) in order to scare us into accepting yet another war of aggression. I’m no peace-monger, but I think we invade other nations far too easily as it is, and we need LESS of that, not more. The evidence doesn’t support the politicians’ rhetoric, so stop listening to them and look at the evidence yourself.

    Mitt would be a bad President by my standards… assuming he could even get elected. Face it, he can’t use the two biggest issues against Obama (ObamaCare and TARP), because Romney instituted RomneyCare (which is essentially the same program on a smaller scale) and supported the TARP bailouts. Those issues are gone, because Romney agreed with Obama… regardless of what he’s saying now to get elected. And those issues are our best chance of getting rid of the worst President our nation has ever had. Romney loses those issues, and therefore likely loses the election.

    Mitt Romney will be hard-pressed to beat Obama, and if he does then he will be a bad president. The biggest issues facing this nation, in my own humble opinion, are the growing government and our rapidly mounting national debt. We have GOT to reduce the size and scope of government to bring spending down, and we have GOT to balance the budget and start paying down our national debt… before we go bankrupt. Romney, by his own proposed plans, would make government bigger and increase the national debt. Therefore, he will be a bad President.


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